Despite my New Year's Day optimism, I am having a hard time embracing the hope and promise of 2013. I am still feeling pretty shell shocked from the last year and I am terrified of getting my hopes up only to have the universe smack me down again. I spent the first week of the year pretty much holed up in my apartment. Having my cycle delayed threw me off a bit, but I have now emerged and am starting to take baby steps towards my resolutions.
The first thing I did was sign up for a month of boot camp. I went to my first class monday morning and am so glad I did. I haven't been for about 5 months and I forgot how much I loved the trainers and the general atmosphere. The only time I have ever been excited about working out is when I go to these classes. I was especially happy that all the stress and holiday eating didn't do to much damage and my weigh in wasn't too painful - I lost some muscle but didn't gain any weight. I am also not as out of shape as I feared. Don't get me wrong, I am super sore today (it was tough lifting my arms to wash my hair) but I was actually able to keep up with the running which was a pleasant surprise.
Now about that positive attitude... Well, it turns out you can't just turn off 38 years of pessimism and negativity. This is going to be a much tougher process. My first instinct is always the negative thought. But now sometimes I catch myself and try to remember what I do have instead of what I don't. More often it's SH who reminds me of the things we do have and that we will make it through this. I just wish the universe would give me a break and send me a little reassurance. Let me know that positivity and hope are worth my time and effort because right now they seem pretty futile.
On a side note - when did old people get to be so rude and inconsiderate?? SH and I went to a movie this afternoon and somehow ended up in the geriatric screening. I think we were the only people in the theater under the age of 60. First, the theater was less than a quarter full, we were in the middle of the empty back row with 3 empty rows in front of us and this old lady comes and sits right next to me. SH and I literally just started laughing. She probably thought we were crazy. I switched seats once the previews started because I can't share an armrest with a stranger if the movie isn't sold out. Then during the movie these old people couldn't have made more noise if they tried. It was so distracting. They were crumbling empty plastic bags unnecessarily, shaking the ice in their cups - can they just not hear it? I have been less annoyed at a saturday matinee of a disney movie.