Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Halfway

I am halfway through the 2WW. This first week has gone by surprisingly fast. We'll see how the 2nd week goes. I am doing a pretty good job of ignoring any physical symptoms. I know it's just the progesterone talking. My sore boobs and cramps are not to be taken seriously.

The more I think about it, the more I would prefer this wait to drag on a little longer. I know that probably seems weird, but I am not ready for this to be over. As long as I am in the 2WW there is hope. There is possibility. I think I am expecting this not to work because that's what experience has taught me.  Why should this time be any different? So I would like to live in this in-between place where anything is possible for just a little longer. During my last IVF, my plan was to test as soon as I could get away with it. That way if it was negative I could start to deal with it and figure out what to do next. This time I think I will wait as long as possible. I won't test until Sunday, the day before my beta. I want to keep hope and possibility alive as long as possible. Of course, I may feel totally different in a few days. I could wake up Friday morning and in a groggy stupor might just decide I have to know immediately. 

Also, I really want to thank all of you for your comments and support throughout this whole thing. All your positive thoughts and hope for me have meant a lot. Really and truly. It's been amazing finding this community of women who get what I am going through. I only wish I had found it sooner!

16 comments:

  1. I understand the desire to have reality just wait a little while longer... I'm in a similar place right now myself.

    I hope for good news for you.

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  2. I think I will feel the same way my second time around. I am sending you tons of sticky vibes!!

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  3. I totally hear you. I am not a POAS-er for those very reasons. I am hoping so hard for you right now!

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  4. Seems like you're in the exact same place I was -- almost wanting the 2ww to go on indefinitely so that you don't have to deal with a BFN. Ignorance is bliss, as they say. But I can also vouch for the fact that you will probably have zero symptoms or clues or hints or ANYTHING up until you test, regardless of whether it's positive or negative, so keep those hopes up!!

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  5. I'm half way tomorrow! I hope this is it for both of us!!

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  6. It's kind of nice not knowing and just being hopeful for a little while longer. I'm hoping it turns into reality for you though!! One week down, one to go. And I'm with you, I wish I'd found this blogging community sooner! Better late than never though. I am loving my new found friendships :)

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  7. I am starting to know how you feel! During the 2ww you can consider yourself pregnant, which is pretty fun!! And at the moment I am not tempted to test at all because I know its too early! Its like the best of both worlds! Hoping you get that BFP Sunday!

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  8. You and me both. There seems to be a lot of women in their 2WW right now, which is great support. I don't POAS for those very reasons. Last month I was absolutely convinced that I was pregnant. I had such different symptoms than I have ever had.. and BFN. This month I am not getting my hopes up. Until I see the beta, I am living in ignorance is bliss mode.

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  10. I always find the second week tougher than the first, but here's hoping you can hang onto that zen. I have everything crossed for you!

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  11. Thinking of you, Jen!

    I totally know what you mean about wanting to live in the in-between place. It almost protects you from the possibility of a negative outcome. Before my transfer, I told my husband that I almost didn't even want to go through with it (I mean, I totally did want to go through with it b/c of the potential of a baby at the end of it) because I was so scared of another negative result.

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  12. Hi Jen - Just coming over to visit your blog. Good luck with the second half of the 2ww. Sending you good thoughts.

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  13. Thinking of you! Stay hopeful!

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  14. Hi from ICLW. Hoping for only good things for you.

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  15. Here from ICLW, and I must say, I get exactly what you mean. When we start our cycle, it will be our last and once that beta comes (if it's negative), that will be the end, for good. Part of me doesn't even want to start it yet to stretch out the length of time hope is there. best of luck to you and I really, really hope those symptoms aren't phantom!

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