All of them. I actually feel like crap. On the plus side, it's super reassuring that (hopefully) something is still happening in my uterus. I wouldn't say that I feel pregnant, but I definitely don't feel like my normal self. Nausea has really kicked in this week and that's probably the hardest one to deal with. Strangely, I fluctuate between nauseous and starving so eating has definitely been a challenge. The only food that sounds remotely good to eat is fruit and anything involving melted cheese (mac 'n cheese, grilled cheese, quesadillas). Despite all that, I have had a pretty busy week and it has gone by surprisingly fast. I just have to get through the weekend and my ultrasound is bright and early Monday morning!
Somehow, I managed to make it through 3(!) job interviews this week. I have trouble being outgoing and charming in an interview in the best of circumstances, so trying it while nauseous made it extra challenging. I think I did ok. I guess I'll just have to wait and see if anyone calls me back. I also volunteered at a couple of Planned Parenthood events this week. One was a fundraiser and I had the job of greeting guests outside, directing them to check-in and around the protesters. I basically spent two hours standing next to (and trying to ignore) pro-life/anti-choice protesters carrying giant pictures of aborted fetuses. Yeah, that was good times right there. This was the first time I have encountered the protesters since I started volunteering with Planned Parenthood. It is REALLY hard to not respond to them but the official policy is non-engagement. I have so many things I want to say but in the end it's not worth it. I am not going to change their minds and I would just get myself all worked up.
I am still in a bit of disbelief that this is happening. I think all the nausea has started to make it seem a little more real, though. It also makes me not worry so much about not seeing a heartbeat. That may be a bit naive. Especially for an infertile who has never exactly been optimistic. Don't get me wrong, I am still really anxious and excited and nervous and scared about this ultrasound but I also feel a little like things might actually be ok for once. And that is definitely a new feeling for me.