Yesterday I turned 39.
I certainly don't feel like I am now less than a year away from 40. How is that even possible?
This birthday was very uneventful. Normally, my birthday is the one day a year I want attention. Despite getting older (and despite the loudly ticking clock the last few years) I have always liked my birthday. This year, I just didn't care. Mostly it's because I am away from home and SH isn't here yet. My co-workers are nice but we aren't exactly hang out outside of work type friends. And they are the only people I know here in Michigan. Any other year this would really bother me, but this year...meh. It didn't really "feel" like my birthday so I am ok spending my weekend relaxing.
I think I am also just so grateful for how different this year is from last year. I feel like asking for anything beyond what I have right now is just being greedy. Last year I started stims for my first IVF on my birthday. I thought it was a good omen and was pretty confident it was going to work. I hadn't yet discovered this blogging community and the one couple I knew who had done IVF were successful on their first try with mediocre embryos and none to freeze. So, as far as I was concerned IVF would just work. Little did I know the roller coaster I had just strapped myself into. When that IVF was such a miserable failure, I started to think I would never get pregnant. To be here, just one year later, is more than I ever expected.
I know there are risks associated with being of "advanced maternal age", the media doesn't let us forget it, so I thought I would find the good things about being an older mother:
- The children of older mothers may have improved health and development in the early years.
- Older mothers have taller, thinner kids (perhaps I have a couple of olympic volleyball players? Or supermodels?)
Ok, so it was hard to find places that discussed good things about being an older parent without also being a little judge-y about waiting so long. Really, age is just a number and doesn't determine whether someone will be a good parent or not. So, I will just enjoy this time being pregnant and having my babies and not worry about the big 4-0 breathing down my neck.